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the end and drooled down all over my fingers. Panicking over all this highly volatile sperm sliming down my hands, I must have used up half a box of tissues and several baby wipes cleaning us both up. On the drive home, we plotted to meet the following Friday night, this time in a motel and me with condoms. All that week, I fantasized about Johnston and prepared for my first affair. I bought twelve large condoms, figuring this didnt have to be a one-night stand. Every morning after Doug got up, Id do pussy-stretching exercises to increase my vulvas flexibility. I figured it would have to be a lot better toned to accommodate that penis of his. Friday, before Doug got home, I showered and put on the lacy black see-through panties and bra set my husband bought me for Valentines on under my dress. I was pumped and ready for action long before we finished supper. I waited until nine-thirty for the call from Johnston that never came! The following Monday the orchard was buzzing with how Johnston went to the singles dance late Friday night. They laughed and teased Johnston about how the fat girl that picked him up at the dance liked his dick so much she asked him to move in with her. To hide my disappointment, I reconciled myself by accepting the fact that the fat girls "bed and breakfast" would probably be a better bet than a secret fling with a married woman. Brassy trumpets, thumping drums and crashing cymbals increasingly trespassed once more as my eyes unwillingly adjusted to the familiar realities of our bedroom. My bleary eyes read 10:30 on the alarm clock as I questioned the reason for that horrible racket coming from downstairs. The acrid aroma of burning bacon and frying eggs assailed my nostrils as gruff-sounding men bantered with authority and conviction. Occasionally more band music, the roar of crowds and shrieking whistles added to the complexity of the din. Suddenly a feeling of revulsion swept over me as I realized that today was New Years Day and I had been trying, with fantasies of the past, to drown out the football pre-game warm up shows! Disappointment immediately rushed through me as one loving image of intimate togetherness after another fell like dominos in my heart. The bliss of my daydream seemed so distant now as I contemplated the onslaught of this most forsaken of all days. Forty-seven years of contempt for the manly pastimes of football, baseball, basketball and hockey suddenly erupted in my mind as it raced through so many memories of painful indifference from my father, my brothers, my husband and now, even my son. All the men in my life had indeed forsaken me for the lure of televised sports events. I read once that I was, by no means alone in my frustration. Some men get so caught up by the violence of these contests that they tend to mistake their women for combatants. Thankfully, Doug controls



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his blood lust perfectly and has never hurt me. Eventually, I gained control of my seething emotions and decided that all my pent-up passion could be channeled into better use. It was the first day of a brand new year and my mind was now in a whirl. The kids had gone to friends houses for the football parties and Doug, for once, hadnt invited any of his cronies over for a party. Wed be alone, at least for the better part of the day. My excitement began to rise as I contemplated the day. This, I thought would be the perfect day to rekindle the love that had been dwindling for such a long time. After twenty-three years of marriage, I thought it was high time to try something adventurous and daring. Many fantasies passed through my head as I organized a game plan of my own, hoping to entice that easily distracted husband of mine away from his football and into my bed. Determined to lure Doug into my wicked little web, I had to devise a sure fire attention getter. I remembered a sexy video I saw at my neighbor Louises when she hosted a hen party. In spite of my embarrassment, I did notice that most of the women in the movie had a shaved pubis. That, I was sure he couldnt miss noticing. The more I thought about it, the better the idea seemed. It surely would spark renewed interest, for a while, at least. I knew the hair would certainly grow back, so I set to work shaving of all my pussy hair. With a mirror between my legs and a lot of patience, I managed to shave myself clean and nick free with Dougs little sideburn trimmer. I took a nice long shower to freshen up and maybe got a little carried away with washing my pussy. I was amused how effortlessly my soap bar slipped between the lips of my vulva without that tangle of pubic hair in the way. In making sure that it was perfectly clean and sweet smelling, somehow my soap bar became lodged up inside my vagina for a while. Lots of hot water sprayed up in there with my hand-held shower head as well as some naughty thoughts about being caught in this predicament, eventually foamed it up enough to squeeze it out with some fancy vulva contractions. I meticulously rinsed my entire body with the showers spray nozzle. It sent shivers up my abdomen whenever the hot spray tingled against my bare pubes. After I vigorously toweled myself dry, I was impressed at the pink blush of my skin. When I blew dry my hair, my towel became unwrapped, falling to the floor. My nipples stiffened with the sudden rush of cool air. Gazing at my naked image in my full-length mirror, I took stock of myself. My skin was still clear and taut. My legs were still firm and shapely. My bottom and belly were fuller and rounder