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all traditions. Im sure me husbands quite capable of supplying the sausage so Ill leave it up to you to try out anything that might fit." By the time me darlin Dougie had me breasts, belly and pussy shinin with olive oil, I heard Louise start up the stairs. The morning sun glowed golden on Dougs light auburn body hair. His baggy beige boxer shorts exaggerated his belly and love handles but his freckled arms and legs had dramatically slimmed down from all those cardio-rehab exercises. With his double chin and cheeks all tightened up, he was looking more like Colin Mocherie every day. His thin, shortly trimmed and faded red hair, made his head seem pointed and his ever-prominent sun-tanned nose appeared almost beak-like for an instant. As he waddled toward the bed it occurred to me that he resembled a great golden ostrich in the dust-sparkled sun. In the same dreamy state of mind, my eyes watched Louise clomp her huge furry slippers up the last few steps. As she ambled toward us, I watched her pale-pink, puffy-sleeved, mini nightgown wave behind her. As she reached the foot of the bed she passed out of the sunlight and gave something to Doug as my eyes desperately adjusted to their shaded images. In doing that, I picked up the silhouette of two fan blades behind her in the kitchen, which appeared as mouse ears on both sides of her head I felt doubly blessed when Big Bird sat down on my right and Minnie Mouse on my left. In a squeaky voice that sounded exactly like Minnie Mouse she announced, "I have no celery and I have only frozen carrot slices. However, I do have this excellent rubber bullet you know quite well." When he flopped down on his back, close beside me, I craned my head over toward him and saw that he was wearing the Devils Dick penis enhancer. I ran my thumb across the ribs and exaggerated folds then immediately concluded that my Big Birds rumpled foreskin had to be the most repulsive thing Id ever seen and I had to have it! Big Bird slipped in under my left side, nudged my leg up in his usual fashion and poked his stiff hot penis into my pussy. As he began his usual thrusts, Minnie whipped off her nightgown crawled over to my right side and began to trace her fingertip all around my vulva. Using Big Birds patented technique, she slipped her fingertip into me beside his penis then began slow circles around it, as well as pokes between each of his strokes while sucking my right nipple. After a few excruciating moments of that torture, she removed her finger, eased her lithe little right leg between Big Bird and I, planted her slippery tongue in my mouth then began to hump her pubic mound against mine. Big Bird continued pumping but on one long stroke I felt his penis slip out. I guess the silly old fool didnt



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realize he wasnt in me anymore because of his lack of sensation through the padded sheath. He just kept pumping away like a little steam pink engine. I should have said something but my tongue was still playing touch tag with Minnies, so I just let it ride. After a few more strokes I noticed Minnies exhales through her nose were becoming labored, bordering on snorts, and were occurring at exactly the same frequency as Big Birds thrusts! Suddenly I felt my girlfriends tongue slurp out of my mouth then watched her stab it into my husbands mouth! Well didnt that make a full circle of things! Then he grabbed the base of his dick and was taking turns poking into me on one stroke while he prodded against Louise on the next thrust! On his second last retraction I heard my pussy slurp shamelessly but on Dougs following thrust I heard Louises grunt, followed by a more diminutive slurp. Oh poor Louise, hed punched the Devils Dick into her as well! I quietly took the Devils plunges like a woman but Louise moaned like she hadnt savored the agony of a Great Gnarly ever before! Both of our pussies slurped with lust as he dredged our sap from one to another and back again! Louise had thrust her slim hand between our pussies and her tiny fingertips were fingering both of our clits at the same time as Doug pounded into us! Oh my! Oh my!! Oh my!!!....... ************************* In the year following the completion of that years diary, Doug underwent triple bypass surgery, is fit as a fiddle and has taken on a physically challenging job to remain healthy. Both of my children moved to Taiwan to teach English. So we three moved back into the condo after Louise sold her house in Quebec to Rija, who converted it into a private club. Menopause pounced, leaving me way too hot flash prone to ever be sexually touched again by Dougs newly hot-blooded hands. I amuse myself these days by sending personalized literary encores to appreciative readers who would care to contact me, promoting my multi-media CD version of "Dear Dirty Diary" and developing the "Adorable Laura Tender Comforts Pillow", a replica of my torso that Doug sculpted out of upholstery foam which fits unobtrusively into a pillow case. But every once in a while, when Im amongst my peers in this small town, I smirk to myself as I remember what a year that was. If they all knew my wicked little secret! One of the benefits of having El Nino out here on the East Coast is that we miss a lot of the usual snow, ice, and cold. I am sorry, but there are certain benefits to seventy (and eighty) degree days in January. If you are in California, Florida, or a similar locale, you might not see my point. Around here, January usually means that everyone has so many layers of clothes on that you cannot distinguish a persons sex,