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like a nest of snakes writhing around inside my vagina. I opened on eye to peek at Louise and swore I caught her making eye contact with Doug behind me. Her dark eyes glowed with devilry as I felt her fingers still their gyrations, hook deeper through my vulva and then pull. As if on some telepathic signal, they both began to draw apart my vulva. The rush of coolness I felt in my vagina told me they had me spread wide open. It felt good for a second, but the sharp sting of fingernails ruined the moment. "Children!" I exclaimed: "Thats not a wishbone down there for you two to make a wish on! If you want a tasty New Years turkey, you have to prepare it properly. You can start by helping this old bird over to that nice queen-size bed where I could be prepared more amicably." With the three of comfortably reclining on the bed, I sat up, spread my arms back for support and continued, "My recipe calls for the bird, to have all packaging materials removed." Louise lifted up and pulled off my slip while Doug peeled down my stockings. "Salmonella poisoning is a real threat, so the bird must be thoroughly washed," I remarked and off to the shower I went. The glass walls of our big neo-angle shower fogged up easily, so I kept the temperature a little on the cool side to ensure my chefs a good show, as I lathered up my breasts, belly, legs and pussy. Out of the shower, Doug toweled me dry while Louise blew my hair dry. "Since Im not one of those butter-ball turkeys, youll have to prepare me the old fashioned way," I quipped. I spread my bath sheet out in the middle of the bed, crawled over on it, stretched out face down and said, "Doug, youll have to baste my backsides with olive oil while Louise prepares the stuffing." Obediently, my husband spread oil over my shoulders and down my back. Louise looked perplexed as she said, "Maybe Irish families have a different way of stuffing their fowl so Im not quite sure how to wad the bread crumbs in." I told her she needed something a lot stiffer than breadcrumbs to stuff this turkey with. To be more specific, I heard myself say: "Were four generations here in Canada now, but in me mothers kitchen, fresh carrots and celery stalks were used in the stuffin. At me father-in-laws delicatessen, kielbasa sausage and peppers were used in the turkey stuffin. In me cousin Shannons kitchen in Londonderry Ireland, she told me that during the troubled times, some rebellious Catholic girls near her neighborhood used to pick up the rubber bullets shot off by the British troops, clean them off, lift up their skirts and stuff their pussies with them, right there and then for the soldiers to see! But in this multi- cultural Canadian society we have grown up with, its my duty to respect



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all traditions. Im sure me husbands quite capable of supplying the sausage so Ill leave it up to you to try out anything that might fit." By the time me darlin Dougie had me breasts, belly and pussy shinin with olive oil, I heard Louise start up the stairs. The morning sun glowed golden on Dougs light auburn body hair. His baggy beige boxer shorts exaggerated his belly and love handles but his freckled arms and legs had dramatically slimmed down from all those cardio-rehab exercises. With his double chin and cheeks all tightened up, he was looking more like Colin Mocherie every day. His thin, shortly trimmed and faded red hair, made his head seem pointed and his ever-prominent sun-tanned nose appeared almost beak-like for an instant. As he waddled toward the bed it occurred to me that he resembled a great golden ostrich in the dust-sparkled sun. In the same dreamy state of mind, my eyes watched Louise clomp her huge furry slippers up the last few steps. As she ambled toward us, I watched her pale-pink, puffy-sleeved, mini nightgown wave behind her. As she reached the foot of the bed she passed out of the sunlight and gave something to Doug as my eyes desperately adjusted to their shaded images. In doing that, I picked up the silhouette of two fan blades behind her in the kitchen, which appeared as mouse ears on both sides of her head I felt doubly blessed when Big Bird sat down on my right and Minnie Mouse on my left. In a squeaky voice that sounded exactly like Minnie Mouse she announced, "I have no celery and I have only frozen carrot slices. However, I do have this excellent rubber bullet you know quite well." When he flopped down on his back, close beside me, I craned my head over toward him and saw that he was wearing the Devils Dick penis enhancer. I ran my thumb across the ribs and exaggerated folds then immediately concluded that my Big Birds rumpled foreskin had to be the most repulsive thing Id ever seen and I had to have it! Big Bird slipped in under my left side, nudged my leg up in his usual fashion and poked his stiff hot penis into my pussy. As he began his usual thrusts, Minnie whipped off her nightgown crawled over to my right side and began to trace her fingertip all around my vulva. Using Big Birds patented technique, she slipped her fingertip into me beside his penis then began slow circles around it, as well as pokes between each of his strokes while sucking my right nipple. After a few excruciating moments of that torture, she removed her finger, eased her lithe little right leg between Big Bird and I, planted her slippery tongue in my mouth then began to hump her pubic mound against mine. Big Bird continued pumping but on one long stroke I felt his penis slip out. I guess the silly old fool didnt